


Apologies

by PattonSherlo



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dark, Deceit Sanders Has a Different Name, Future Relationships, HE DOESN'T ACTUALLY DO IT BUT STAY SAFE KIDDOS, HE'S GONNA GET HELP, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Suicidal Thoughts, Implied/Referenced Suicide attempt, M/M, Mention of Rope Used as Noose, Near suicide attempt, Past Relationship(s), Suicidal Thoughts, cursing, stay safe kiddos!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-18
Updated: 2019-04-18
Packaged: 2020-01-15 22:57:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18508786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattonSherlo/pseuds/PattonSherlo
Summary: Virgil is startled. It's past midnight - - and here is Deceit, slimey as always, and he's- apologising?Written from the prompt '20. 'I thought I could manage. I can’t. Not without you. Not ever, like that' with Anxceit' an anon kindly sent to me on Tumblr!





	Apologies

**Author's Note:**

> To mark down the confusion, Deceit's lies and any thoughts are italicized. Enjoy reading, kiddos!

The lights are out, and nearly every room is dark.

Virgil is deadly quiet as he walks down the stairs, trying not to wake any of the other sides. It’s past midnight and he’d rather not have Patton asking him if he was okay – he may love the father figure, sure, but that didn’t mean he would prefer to get gently grilled as he tried to sneak some Triscuits.

The kitchen window is shut, but he can still see the neighborhood through the closed blinds as he reaches for a mug.

“Virgil.”

He freezes. Was he too loud? Shit, what if it was Princey? Because it was way too early in the morning for dealing with Princey.

“ _It’s not Deceit_.”

The anxious side whirls around with a hiss, mug forgotten. “What are you doing here?”

He remembers too many bad things when he hears that voice. He hates it, and its… _slimey_ owner.

“ _I’m not here to apologise_ ,” Deceit said.

“Then get out of my sight,” Virgil said in a low growl.

“No, I- I’m here to apologise.”

Virge can see the other side digging his nails into his palm in an effort to tell the truth, and he sighs before glancing at the screen on his phone.

“I have a show to get back to, Damian. Hurry up.”

Deceit tried not to flinch at the name. “Look. Virgil, I’m- sorry,” he said, biting his tongue. Hard. “I just- yes. I just wanted to say I was sorry.”

Virgil paused in surprise, but quickly recovered. “Yeah? For what?” he scoffed. “For lying to me? For refusing to work on your issues? For what, Damian? Because you made it pretty clear a long time ago that you weren’t sorry for shit.”

“I’ve changed. And – no, wait a minute, please let me finish – and I know you will never forgive me, Virgil. I don’t expect you to. And I don’t hope that you will, because you deserve it. To be mad at me. But… I am sorry.”

Virgil didn’t move except to look Deceit in the eyes. “You expect me to believe you? You, a liar?”

They both knew he wasn’t lying, though - - not this time. Deceit was shaking a little from the effort, and that much was evident to both parties. “No, I don’t. Look **, I thought I could manage. But I can’t. Not without you. Not ever, like that**.”

“Damian, I-“

“No, it’s fine. I just- had to- get that off my chest. Before I-“ He cut himself off abruptly. “ _Something. It’s definitely something_.”

And then Virgil finds himself staring at the spot where Deceit is supposed to be standing.

 

He tries to go to bed, but he can’t. The same words, cycling through his head on repeat. _Something. It’s definitely something_.

 _Something. It’s definitely something_.

_Something. It’s- Before I-_

_Shit_.

Virgil suddenly feels his breath hitch in his throat. _Oh, shit_. He needed to find Deceit, and he needed to find him now. _It’s already been a half an hour what if it’s too late- what if you’re too late-_ and then he is pounding down the hall, not caring about how much noise he makes anymore. He can hear the sound of doors slamming shut behind him as he passes, but he doesn’t stop.

“Virgil, what’s- Virgil!”

Virgil ignores whichever side it is - - he thinks it’s Logan - - or maybe Patton? He just needs to get to the basement. It’s down there that all the ‘dark sides’ live, so it’s down there that Deceit - - Damian - - would be. Oh, god, he hopes he’s not too late. He may not trust Deceit, maybe never will, but - -

No. He’ll think about that later.

He throws open the door and leaps down the last pair of stairs, other sides behind him, before sprinting down the long hallway. There it is: a door with a small sign reading _Deceit_ , a messily scribbled _(Damian)_ he remembers writing there for him when they were younger.

And inside is Deceit.

“Damian, I- _fuck_ -“

The side turned around, shock evident in his eyes. Behind him, on a chair, lay a rope that hadn’t been used - - yet.

Virgil felt himself running towards him, grasping Damian by the sides of the head before tugging him into a hug. “ _Fuck_ \- Damian- don’t you dare. Don’t you dare pull shit like that on us again.”

Deceit stands, frozen, before slowly putting his arms around Virgil in return. “ _I could_ ,” he lies. “ _I didn’t try. I could._ ” He tries to ignore the three ‘light’ sides watching from the doorway, and he doesn’t look any of them in the eye when Patton sees the rope and gasps.

“Oh- Deceit-“

Damian detaches himself from Virgil slowly and moves over to the distraught sense of morality, who is now pressing up against Logan’s chest in an attempt at getting a hug. Deceit doesn’t do hugs. He hates them - - they leave you vulnerable, they’re too intimate. But he pulls Patton into a hug anyhow.

Logan is quiet, waiting until Damian accidentally looks him in the eye before whispering, “Don’t do it again.”

He merely nods and turns back to Virgil. What save is there in this? He’s been caught in the act, and there is no… saving card. No ‘Ah, I was kidding! I _am_ Deceit, after all’. There is nothing he can do but sit there.

And then Virgil does something he didn’t think he’d ever do again.

He kisses Damian.

“Look, Damian. You’re Deceit,” he says. Damian’s face visibly falls. “I don’t know if I can trust you again. I don’t know if you were lying when you said you were sorry. Or,” -he takes a deep breath- “if maybe you were lying when you said you weren’t sorry, all those years ago. I can’t guarantee anything, okay? But… once you get this sorted out. Once you get help. I’d… I’d like to try again.”

Damian stares at him. “What?”

“Not… right now. But if you’d be willing to go see Emile, and… work on being healthy. I know it’s a lot to ask. But I’ll be waiting for you. Just so you know.”

Neither say anything. Tears are running down both side’s faces, but each can see something in the other’s eyes that wasn’t there before today.

Looking around the room, Damian’s eyes land on the rope one more time before shifting back to Virgil.

“I think I’d like that.”

It was the truth.


End file.
